STUPID CONFLICT IN MYSELF

dear bloggie,,

i think im going to collapsed right now.it's because of my trial results.i fail chemistry.and other subjects,, i like get so super low marks.i only managed to get 5 A's.this week,, my mood is like so gloomy and sad.i get lots of not good an uneasy feelings mixed in my heart and it doesn't feel nice at all.besides,, i also miss that ass hole so much.

i think im like having a pergolakan jiwa like that.like im struggling with myself.haha.like spm is only a month ahead.but i really really feel lazy and not wanting to study.but then my other self said i have to study although how much i hate study.just forced myself to study.but the other part is like so lazy to study and then in the end i become crazy blogging here tell everyone bout the crazy stupid conflict in myself.

spm is only a month away.im so scared and at the same time i also fell so pressured.never feel this pressure before.i need help.or maybe i need an escape.a sweet escape?i really wish that the clock would stop ticking for a month.then,, i want to runaway to somewhere.just keep running and shout my lungs out.OMG!seriously,, i think i really need help.i really don't know how to go through these two months.

i really wanting to get good and execellent results in spm.somehow,, i lost my determination.i no more longer determined like last time like if i want to score straight A's, i will work very very hard to score it.but now,, im like i want to score straight A's.then,, im like just yea and didn't do anything and just wait for some miracles to happen.then,, when get low marks,, melebih lebih want to cry and sad and blogging here complaining got pergolakan jiwa or what la.the world is fair wan la.how much we work hard we will also get the same result la.it's karma.i used to believe this.but now,, i just hope miracles to happen.stupid me!!

this year,, i think i really gone through a lot of hard times.real hard times.

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