shortie post that is meaningless

dear bloggie,,

now im studying calculus and listening to songs.suddenly i felt like dancing the hell out of me and shout and burn the damn calculus book even though i don't have one with me now.but still i have the urge to burn the book.i feel like going to an unknown club and dance with none disgusting people and lost into loud heavy beat music that the club usually play.

yea.i know i sounds weird.i think im going to go crazy because of this calculus.i rather study add maths.

and i miss enen very much!!i felt like crying when i listen to the cuppycake song that she always used to sing.im so bloody miss her right now.i feel like taking a cab to kajang now to see enen.i really miss her.

*end*

im so moody right now

dear bloggie,,

the internet here at uniten really sucks la.i like cannot open blogger for a few days and i don't have the oppoturnity to blog at home.

ok let's see what are the things that bothering me today.i don't know what are the things that bothering me but i feel so not in peace today.i started my day well i think.this morning when i walked out from the apartment to class i was thinking what a nice day.but then my day didn't turn our be so good for i don't know what reasons.why is it?serious serously i really don't know what are the things that bothering me.i feel so moody and sad right now.i feel like burts into tcrying like hell but i cannot.maybe because my tahap kesedihan belum sampai to crying but somehow i feel sad.i fel sad for some reasons that i cannot tell here.too personal already and i will keep all to myself only.but i can tell what are the other reasons that make me feel moody or whatever not good mood im having.

1.i didn't do well in my computing skills quiz AGAIN.seriously la, i really don't what the is question crapping.im having hard time reading and memoriing what i had read i computing skill because theirlanguage is like robo's language.get what i mean?never mind la.

2.suddenly the calculus lecturer said that test will be coming out till topic 2.5.im like dia la this time.before that other people said that the test will be only up to topic 2.1.but now suddenly until 2.5.where can study in time la.some more this weekend im going to the green camp.and i only just finished study chapter 1.and somemore i sleep at class during lecture.i like really reallly don't know what is happening in calculus.even today the narin like warn me.he said i better study like hell now in calculus because teacher already enter the hard part and im useless because sleep during class and not bother to know what happen during class.plus, we are also NOT ALLOWED TO USE CALCULATOR during test!like huhh?it's calculus la.if it's math then ok la.stupid la.i really feel like stopping study right now.the pressure is like very big and i cannot handle it.i think i might collapsed any moment.

3.im suppose to go swimming tonight, right now but im blogging here.because there is no one wana go swimming so i like merajuk here alone without anyone noticing.HAHA.no la.

4.i did something really embarassing during computing skill class.

5.i think that im too loud already la.i think should keep low profile a bit.i like talk too loud until everyone look and shhh at me at class.i really wish that im a sof spoken person and don't put talking as my number 1 priority list to do everyday.sometime i wish if i could just keep my mouth shut like real shut and hardly talk to people so that i wont embarrased myself or what.

im seriously not in a good mood right now.like i said i want to get far away from everyone and go on a vacation in an isolated island for 1287237823487523785475472542374527 days!

i think i wana change myself into becoming a emo.i mean the real emo freak like that.like do blonde or pink highlight to my hair, wear like very dark black eyeliner and put on a red blood lipstick,pierce all over my body,wear tight black t-shirt and mini skirt with fish net on and also a pair of fisherman boot,listening to dark music that sing they hate life and everything,and don't talk to people and stared at people very fiercely whenever people do eye contact with me and make them scared till they pee in their pant.HAHA.haiyo.i feel very moody la.someone please help me la with my calculus study.test is on next tues, 8.30 night.it's like in a week more.

haih.this isn't helping.i will just stop crapping here and go bath la and pretend that im swimming in the toilet.HAHA.

*end*

i hate that i don't have my own privacy

dear bloggie,,

i hardly can breathe right now and i feel that i have no privacy at all in my life.not in the house or wherever.everyone seems like to bug me every single second in my life and not wanting to leave me to be in peace.my privacy has been violated.and i really hate that i don't have my own space especially when im always bugg by someone u know who.where ever i go the peson will like follow me like a shadow.i want my own space.i have no space for myself at all.at home mummy seems like to bugg me every second and she even sees what am i blogging.i feel so violated right now.i want my own space, serenity, paradise and privacy.i want to runaway to an isolated island and be there for 8889192302976557552187319738018302174863263267 days!!

*end*

100 th posts

dear bloggie,,

this is my hundredth posts. like finally i reach the hundredth posts.

im still not in the good mood.i don't know what to do to make myself feel better.i don't know why nowadays i get emotionally affected so easily.and seriously i don't know what are the things that bugging me and make feel so unhappy.

maybe instead of merungut about my moodi-ness maybe i should try to list down all the happy moments and things that im grateful with.

my happy moments :

1.swimming at the pool
2.celebrating lawr's birthday
3.4th of july
4.shopping with po, pui, wong, pohteng, ping and kuanmay
5.chemistry lab :)
6.playing with enen
7.bitching together with sulee
8.saw yeng-ish (but now cannot look at him already,he has a gf)
9.laugh like hell when chatting together with old friends
10.hanging out with good old friends
11.spm result day?
12.the end of spm day :)
13.a day out with lawr
14.sipping chocolate cream chips starbucks
15.bitching about pn jamilah at class
16.during school days
17.bitching at mcd after school like no other people business
18.pizzahut moment after est spm paper

haiyo.how come got so little happy moments in my life.i should concentrate more to create more happy moments in my life la instead of emo - ing.

things that im grateful with :

1.im glad that i study at uniten
2.im glad that sulee is my friend there.i cannot live without her at uniten.HAHA
3.im glad that i get to know po, she is the person that i always like to complain everything at and she seems to can connect to whatever i said
4.im grateful that meiyi is my sis although we cannot click in most of the times
5.im grateful that i have enen in my life.she bring so much happiness into my life
6.im grateful that my hostel got tv.thanks to sulee
7.im grateful that i get good housemates and not bitchy one
8.im grateful that i have good swimming instructor
9.im grateful that all my classes start at 9 in the morning
10.im grateful that ali didn't stalk me like how abbas stalk sulee
11.im grateful that i can blog about the things that im grateful with and it makes me feel better already
12.somehow, sometimes i glad that im short
13.im grateful that i get to know pui in my life.she also has bring so much joy into my life
14.im happy that uniten has a big swimming pool
15.im grateful that i stay at kajang
16.im grateful that i have my big pinkie baggie.i can stuff almost everyting inside that bag
17.im grateful that i shift to smkjb to study and get to know so much new great friends there
18.im glad that i have my red sandals.i love it very much
19.im grateful that i have mummy as my mummy
20.somehow, sometimes im glad that im banana
21.lastly but not least, im glad that mr lawrence ng wai leong is my BFF.HAHA.

*end*

still not feeling better

dear bloggie,,

when i woke this early morning i still didn't feel any better.i still feel very pissed or angry or not in the good mood or whatever mood la.in short words, not in the good mood.

reasons :

1.the very irritating sister make lots of noises shouting here and there make feel so annoyed and feel like slapping her

2.i tend to get angry easily with meiyi.i don't know why but everything that she says or do annoyed me.

3.stupid twitter codes thing.i just create a twitter account and plan to put twitter thingy at my blog but somehow i don't know what error occur whenever i placed the codes here or there the nuffnang ads will like terjejas

4.no musics that i listen now can make me feel better

5.everyone is so selfish

6.i colored my hair red burgundy but it still look like black in color

7.my sis irritated me and goes wherever i goes and do stuff that really annoyed me

8.i irritated that i still haven't recover from my moody or so whatever not good mood im having

all these things will not get any better.i just stop here and emo in the room.stupid la.what's wrong with me la.why i get emotionally affected so easily.not that im PMS -ing or what.haiya.what's the wrong la?what's the damn problem with me la.

*end*

i feel so pissed with almost everything in my life

dear bloggie,,

i suddenly feel so pissed, angry, irritated and annoyed!i don't know why.it's like the feelings that has been terpendam for a while and now it like started to meletup one by one.

reasons that make me to feel like that :

1.the person that i feel very irritated with always seems to bug me every second in my life.i didn't mean to feel like that with that person because she is a good person but somehow i don't know why i get very irritated with her no matter what she do and she will like hunt me the rest of my life.i don't know how will i ever going to stand her.

2.i feel so angry that i slept one whole day today when im supposed to study calculus one whole day

3.i feel so headache right now because i take nap the whole afternoon

4.i feel so irritated with my nose because it's stuck and whenever i sneeze there is nothing come out and i feel so hard to breathe.yea i know it sounds disgusting

5.no one seems to bother to care about me forever.im not important to everyone already

6.i feel so irritated that i only have minimum space to study at hostel and that make me not in the mood to study at all.

7.i hate that i spend much.when im spending im not aware at all then after spending i would start to regret and said i wish i didn't buy this and that.

8.i feel so annoyed that tonight feel so hot.

9. i hate the fact that i need to be apart from enen and not getting to see her anymore when i come back evry weekend.

10.i feel irritated that i feel irriated with alomost everything

11.i hate that my heart control my mind not my mind control my heart

12.i feel very pissed that i cannot get to use the computer whenever i want.i have to wait for the others to use first or big sis is going out then only i get to use.so bloody annoying.

13.i feel so irritated with myself because for being so lazy to study

14.i feel so pissed that im having hard time to learn swimming

15.i feel so pissed because i have to face the person that i don't like from the bottom of my heart and be friendly wit that person

16.i hate when all the bad past in my life starting to hunt my mind back and my mind could not control of what i want to think

17. i feel so irritated because after i put the nuffnang ads like for years, finally i only manage to earn 25 cents

18.i feel so pissed with the uniten internet connection.it's so bloody fucking slow like hell.FUCK FUCK FUCK.

19.im irritated that i always get emotional affected so easil.

20.i feel annoyed that i always say wrong things and whenever i try to say something to cover it it get worst.

21.i feel irritated that im feeling so angry right now and no matter what i do nothing will get better!!

im so pissed with everything la.and that someone already giving a sign that it's time for me to go.so.im done blogghing here!

*end*

blank

dear bloggie,,

im blogging from my new home at uniten.i didn't went home tonight because got alot of stuff need to be done here and i also don't know what's the stuff that i haven't done here.

now i don't know what is my mood and what am i feeling right now, i feel so blurr and blank.there goes again another week.i feel that time pass so fast.i can't even like interpret all the things that happen in my like these few days.i had two quizzes this week.and the lecturer didn't even inform us.they like suddenly give a pop quiz and going to enter the mark into our cgpa.i feel so scared la because i did so badly in these two quizzes.*big sigh*

my mind feels like kind of berserabut but also at the same time i feel blank.i need to like reorganized my life.im like so lewa in my this uni's life right now.like everyday after class go hang out here and there.then at night come home bath straight away sleep and didn't even like bother to look at the book.then plus during class, i always feel so sleepy and didn't concentrate on what the lecturer teaching.i need to get serious la.i have to remember back all my aims of coming here.i have to control myself from the temptation of having fun here.but there is no any fun here, maybe only swimming la.then nothing else already what.i also feel that 24 hours a day is not enough la.i really need more extra hours.plus now i don't have any assignments and co-co activity.what if when the lecturer started to give assignments then all the co-co activity suddenly pop up like that.haiya.i don't know la.i feel very blank and need to focus back on my aims.

next tues and wed there will be like club promotions like that.get what i mean.i feel like kind of excited. i don't know why.

i think i want to create a private blog la. i want to like meluahkan all my keresahan hati yang tidak boleh diketahui orang or yang boleh menimbulkan konflik there.but i don't know why i didn't create.i feel like kind of lazy.but whenever i like got some keresahan hati here i feel regret for not creating the new private blog.to create or not.

*end*

4th of july 2009 was a memorable day

dear bloggie,,

on 4th july i went out with lawr, sani, and vinc.actually not feeling like going because im so very tired after finish orientation week.but however i went also and i don't feel regret going.HAHA.

i get to buy sunnies which i wanted to buy since forever and i also bought a pair of red sandals which is only rm18.50 and it's vincci.HAHA.

we ate lunch at spaghetti's grill for lunch and after that we watched transformer, the revenge of the fallen.i don't know what was my feeling about the movie.im just like, hmm it's nice but not like blown away like lawr.HAHA.


so after muvee we went to buy doughnuts and ate it at startbucks.actually only sani the one who treat us doughnuts.HAHA.then,camwhoring for a while with the new sunnies.after that we all straight away headed back to home.

*end*

uniten

dear bloggie,,

lots of things happen in my life lately.i x sempat want to blog about it and i also cannot really recall what had happened in my life for the past two or three weeks.

let's start with 27 jun 2009.

it was the registration day.reached uniten admin building at around 1.30 to 2 like that.after register, went to the apartment.the apartment was so dirty like hell.at that moment i don't feel like staying there at all.i just wanted to go home and forget about study forever.however.of course cannot la.so cleaned up the room but still the room is still so dirty like hell.went to eat dinner at the carpark there. after dinner, all the kakak fasillator give some taklimat about the orientation.this is all that i can recall for 27 jun 2009.and my roommate is Tee Jing Ning and my housemates are Yeow Su Lee and Chan Fui Ling.and sulee is aillie's ns friend.like so berjodoh only can same house with her.then some more same course, same uni, same orientation group.HAHA.

then 28 jun 2009.

it was sunday.we woke early in the morning just to take our breakfast.stupid wan.i rather don't wake up that early to eat.i thought it was compulsory or whatever.then after breakfast could not sleep so online using big sis laptop.then around 2 like that suddenly mummy came brought all the mop, broom, stuff la like cleaning house aids.then suddenly the kakak fasillator shouting at down the apartment calling everyone down.lucky we haven't start cleaning the house yet.we were about to start cleaning the house at that moment.then we got lo some this stupid ceramah yang tak berfaedah langsung.i was like so rushing and all the rules were like so strict cannot wear this la cannot wear that la.i like had to run up and down for three times.eventually, i end up wearing my shirt terbalik.so after that ice breaking.lucky sulee was in the same group with me, mass g.if not i will be like a lost pig following other people here and there like a dumbo.after dinner, all the stupid ceramah started la.then around 11 only went home then slept at around 12 woke up at 5 on the next morning.

ORIENTATION WEEK

so orientation week like officially started like on sunday.everyday we had to wake up 5 and sleep at around 12 like that.and the stupid orientation is like so stupid and tiring.but somehow, as the day pass, i started to get used to the routines and enjoying it.but when im started to be in the comfort zone, everything ended.i cannot really recall what happened during orientation.i only can remember that got lots of crappy ceramah.but got one ceramah which is really fun and very inspirational.i love the talker very very much.like for the first time i didn't talk to su lee during ceramah and whenever su lee talk to me i told her to shhh.HAHA.i also enjoy some ldk activity. and i met one very the cute fasillator.i don't know what is his name but i only know that he is 23 and very the yeng.i called him yeng -ish.he is like really yeng and even sulee also said that.HAHA.

hmm.i didn't get much friends during orientation.i only get to know few persons only.like usual, i will always stand at one corner and pull my sour face and show it to everyone.after seeing my face, no one will be interested to be friends with me.HAHA.so on the last day of orientation i felt like we were like graduating.like got sad and touchy moments.i also sad because i cannot get to see yeng-ish anymore.:(

then after that, got this one stupid activity at kelompok.it's very stupid and i feel regret for not going home earlier.around 7 like that big sis picked me up.

first day of class

BORING.i don't like physics teacher.or should i say lecturer.he look like some kind of genius freak yang sangat kedekut ilmu.HAHAH.then, the maths teacher sucks and english teacher quite fun la.so after class went home sleep then clean the house.we like washed the floor because the floor is like so dirty to mop.then, washed the toilet, wipe all the cupboard then everything done already.now the house really feels like home.plus, sulee also brought a tv from her house.

second day of class

BORING + SLEEPY = HELL.

i so hate all the classes.all the classes are not fun except for english i think.i don't like computing skills class a lot.i really don't like the class.first of all the class is two hours.then, it's on the evening.then the lecturer is so boring and trying to act sporting.
after finish the last class at don't know around what time, i, su lee, fui ling and jing ning went swimming.then at swimming pool, we met some arabian people that are horny and desperate for love.there is like a guy name abbas stalking sulee.my stalker not that teruk like sulee's.the guy like understand after i telling him that i have bf.HAHA.i lied and he is very stupid to fall for it.so after swimming, went to upten to eat and abbas treat us eat.abbas like dressed so formally just to go to a food court to eat.like very weird.then ali like kena wrapped in a latex like that because his clothes were like so tight.HAHA.after dinner we fast fast went home.

third day of class

i cannot remember what happened.yea i really cannot remember what happened.i just can remember that we went swimming again with izzati and her friends.like so hard only get to find her.before this i like lost contact forever after orientation.after swimming went to upten to eat dinner again.

forth day of class.

as usual, the classes are BORING + DULL = makes me feel sleepy.i was thinking how come all my lecturers are always in wan.i thought people said lecturers are like very busy and hardly can meet us during class.everyday i wish for 'please there is no class today'.haiya.i sound like a anak yang sangat tak guna.my parents sent me there to study la.but i really cannot tahan the boring-ness of the classes and the sleepiness that the classes caused to me.so went to gym at around 5 like that.the gym was like so not fun at all.the equipment there very limited and there got lots of guys working out and the really smelly lor.around 7 like that papa picked me up and i left my hp at the apartment and i have no class on friday.

lots of pics to upload la.but right now all the pics are not with me.i will upload it la when free.

*end*